Two Questions...
/At lunch today, I asked my family to think about two things:
What reaction/response do they want to elicit from others?
How can they be conscious participants in life?
The first question arose during a morning walk with my neighbors. As we walked, a purposely loud, going fast through a residential neighborhood pick up truck passed by us. We all tightened up, feeling jarred by the sound and speed, then commented on our shared response. While I know the person driving most likely didn’t mean to startle us, most likely the driver didn’t even notice us. However, it got me thinking about how we navigate the world and I thought it might be worth mentioning to my children as they consider how they want to navigate this world. How do they want to be perceived? How do they want others to respond to them? How do they want others to react to them? What feelings do they want others to experience when in their presence?
I’m not suggesting changing your personality/demeanor/authentic self to please others, rather that being mindful as to how others might perceive you and your actions could have merit. We are all here sharing this planet and our survival requires us all to pay attention, to notice each other, and to be kind. We can be ourselves while also taking note of how others feel and what they think. In noticing, we learn, we grow, we adjust, and we might even discover new ideas and ways of thinking and being.
The second question came about due to a simple text invite to a child’s birthday party. A birthday party - innocent enough, right? I have challenged my family to be conscious consumers this year and not simply ask or buy for the sake of getting. This mindful practice has infiltrated different parts of life including birthday celebrations. I am sure I have put several of my closest in a growth period when asking them to break from tradition and come celebrate a birthday and not bring a gift. I had one friend text me saying “literally almost killed me, but I honored your request.” I appreciated her honesty and the reminder to me that it is tough to step out of the norm. The consequence of this practice: spirited and heart felt cards, a chance to carve out quality time to celebrate rather than buying something, and less stress about gifts and more focus on the event! While this has been great for us and simple enough to request of others joining us to celebrate, it has been slightly more challenging to navigate when being the one invited. This weekend, after receiving an invite to a birthday party, my daughter went straight to making one of her handmade, full of unique drawings, birthday cards for her friend while I went straight to thinking “what to do about a gift.” After thinking, I opened it up for discussion with my daughter. I mentioned to her that I want to consciously consume and tune in to what each situation merits (meaning, sometimes a gift is in order and sometimes it is buying a gift because that is what we feel we are supposed to do). We talked about not being anti-gift, rather pro-mindfulness and against doing something because that is what we have always done. After conversation, we thought offering a combined experience made sense - in this case, a promise to go for ice cream this summer together. A win-win - a unique gift, a memory making opportunity, and a fun outing.
The point to all this is to be mindful, to be conscious, to pay attention. It takes practice. It takes questioning. It seems to me we are a pivotal time in our country and history where if we do not stop and ask, pause and question, we could find ourselves on a path full of destruction and harm. These steps may sound trivial, and yet, paying attention to your footprint, to your actions is the first step in mindfully building a kind world, a world of conscious people looking to pay it forward.
And as always, tune in and notice the energy.
